Inevitable feeling

"Being human, it is inevitable that most of us face the cruelty of love. You either fall into the category of no longer wanting to be with that someone, or that someone no longer want to be with you. Just like a sea breeze that can sail a ship, the little devil feeling that is developed can multiple into a wave of disappointment, depression, complaints and without you knowing, soon there will be pointing fingers, hurt, drunken, sober and the cycle continues.

So, what do we really want? Is it true that it is better to be loved than love? Is it true that love should just flow like a running tap water until someone closes it? Does love deserve the sacrifice, the gutting of self emotional, the fasting of soul and expressions ... just to at the end, subject love to scrutiny of society, personal judgments, eruption of tears? At the end, abjection of the death of being together ..." by AndrewK

Does anyone ever happen that a disturbing feeling comes across after losing someone important to him/her? How much time to get through this?

If I let you go

Day after day
Time pass away
And I just can´t get you off my mind
Nobody knows ... I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can´t find
The courage to show ...
To letting you know ...
I´ve never felt so much love before
And once again I´m thinking about
Taking the easy way out ...

But if I let you go
I will never know
What my life would be
Holding you close to me
Will I ever see
You smiling back at me
How will I know?
If I let you go ...

Night after night
I hear myself sayin´
Why can´t this feeling just fade away?
There´s no one like you ...
You speak to my heart...
It´s such a shame we´re worlds apart ...
I´m too shuy to ask ...
I´m too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
And once again I´m thinking aboutTaking the easy way out ...

Once again I´m thinking about ....
Taking the easy way out ....

190910

190910
A special couple forever in marriage in love
A special friend birthday
Graceful celebration
Simple but glamor ceremony
Silent but funny cake blowing night
A day to remember

Exploded Stomach

Oh yeah.. my stomach gonna explode. I have ate too much i guess. haha.. bro said calories that i ate will took me 6 days to burn. If I continue my eating habits how I going to lose my weight? So many questions he threw to me in sudden when am eating.

Eat, Pray, Love

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."

Incomplete

I don't how to explain how I felt. But the feeling is suck now. Guess am missing something. Is it because I skipped my lunch today and had only ONE meal for today? Oh no.. been how long I never have only one meal one day. Is it just that? really not too sure. Am happy watching the Taiwan series Down with Love (就想赖着你). It really make me laughing alone in front of my laptop.

Missing R5 members

I miss R5 from far far away Sarawak so much in sudden.
Suppose watching REPO MEN this evening with ticket bought yesterday. But Ryan can't make it and asked me call other to go with me.
Then i realize almost those who can go movie with me is not in town. I miss Trix so much in sudden.

Completed Day

9.40 am Wake Up
10.10 am Bak Kut Teh with Ann
11.30 am Chocolate Banana Cake in Secret Recipe finally after 3 weeks I craving for. Thx Ann!
1 pm the Two went for so call fortune teller.
1.30pm we bought our dessert home. "Mc donalds coke, nuggets, and Snow Ice"
3.30pm STEP UP 3 in Signatures Garden with Ryan
5.30pm shopping..looking for my heels and wedding pressie for his sis.
6 pm oh no..we can't walk anymore.. chilling at Delicious. (bad services they had)
8.30 pm continue shopping!!! finally we got pair of watches.
9 pm dinner time.. at JADE POT steamboat again?? yes..haha..
11 pm Justin called up for tea session. no choice have to meet as he all the way came to hartamas.
12 pm reach home..
2 am am out??
6 am early breakfast?? oh no..i really can't eat at this time. only orange juice for me..
7 am bed time.. good nite!

Love the way you lie

Just gonna stand there And watch me burn
But that's alright Because I like The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there And hear me cry
But that's alright Because I love The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

This is what love is after all?

Something spice up my life!

Been long time never went for weekday late night show. Wonder how am so energetic able to go movie after gym session. City Under Seige i have no idea how if people ask me is a good movie or not. It's farnee when you see alien in Cantonese show.

Something to spice up your ramadan??

It's about shape, not size!

Bad August!

Annoyed by peoples
Car got broke in
Lost my fav RayBan
Mobile dead in sudden without notification
Oh no..still another 12 days to end this Aug
Dear God, safe me please!

Supper night

Ann off work at 12am asking for supper. initial plan was steamboat.. but y all closed? she used to said the kelana steamboat til late nite. but when we reached at 1am it was closed. we then went to uptown as i remember there is another one.. too bad..we was late..they packing..haha.. No more steamboat for us.. we then all the way go back to Megah Ming Tien. i always thought they operates 24hrs but actually just til 2am. i think all the hawker owner was sleepy...when we make our order the auntie looks so fierce..am sure they wonder why dis 2 girls eating out such late night. tomyam looks nice? but super spicy..we prefer har mee better. haha..
2am-visit the dvd shop at ss2 as usual. i finally bought my Celine Dion vs Mariah Carey album i wish to have.

New Challenge??

Yeap. Just got to know am going to handle HK market as well. stress wei..am too comfort on my current workload..am lazy to change and of course am afraid to the NEW one as everything gonna starts with ZERO.

I spoke to YOU again and i thought you could make me feel better and Yes you did at first.
Asking you cheers me and try make me happy .. you said how if you come see me if i need to travel? irony man.. i can't even get to see you when am here but there? is that a joke?

and YOU what you want from me? we are not friend anymore i think after the last time we spoke to each other. but why? why you talking to me again? why you asking me for company middle of night just because you're upset?? too much really..

Unconscious

you told ..if uncomfortable just don't go..
you told ..if anything just call you..
you said ..you will be there for me..
and you said ..you are here!

The OLD and NEW one

the OLD one..
watched hundred of movies
read my favorite novels
studies and works on reports
gave me clear vision driving at night
covered my tired face at night when am not wearing my makeup
but i lost it
i lost it without knowing
not knowing where and when
i told her maybe it was too light to feel it drops
we go back to the same place to look for it again and again
but we failed

the NEW one..
I've got two
thick and thin frame i had
the Thick one
watch movies and drama
continue my favorite novels
being one of my casual out fit accessories
Ann's named it cartoon frame
the Thin one
look alike as my old one
looks steady and stable in person
studies and works on reports in office
Ann said i look more profession
both New one cover my tired face and giving me clear vision for night drive

Summer Holiday

Disappointment? Definitely a YES
Why? The one used to be very closed to you called off the plan in very last minute.
Excuses? Yes. An excuse's excuses.

Well, nothing change the plan..the trip still on..
Enjoyment? Yes. bought my favorite accessories. my 'car' ..Ann said is a TAXI..kaka..
I dislike dessert but i went to the same dessert house 3 days out of 5 days to have my favorite Almond tea. yummmyyyyy~~ i almost wanted to stay there work in the dessert house..the shop owner told me ..staff there get paid hkd 20k /month and a room opposite the shop is cost hkd 3k/month (ofcos it is not nice renovated condo but shop houses). am tempted honestly..

Shopping?? Fantastic.. never think what you want to buy but think how much you ready to spent.. haha.. there is too much to shop!

Listen to the Changes

G: You changed! you are so NOT serious now.
B: hmm..
G: It's ironic..you are upset but you're doubt to tell people what you thinking. What you want? What you expect from me actually? if you going to tell your dad in kinda attitude it's not going to work. no one will shows their concern on you because we just don't think you care!
B: hmm..(speechless) ya i know. i understand. please keep talking i just dunno what to say now.
G: am not judging you. just that i really feel you changed. No longer the simple person i used to know. i dunno how to explain in word but just the feeling.
B: You reminds me that you used to describes growth in A4 white paper with newspapers. i felt am the newspapers now or a blouse that being dyed in colors. am too crowded with words or colors until i have forgot who i used to be and what am doing.
G: Yes.. you are too extreme. you freak me out. do you know every time when you telling me something now i gonna think twice? am not sure when you are serious and not.
B: If you ask me why? i think i will defense myself with i just want to stays happily.. but am not going to says things that defense myself now. You are right. If i able to go back myself..i never stay up so hyper or energetic.
G: hmm..you may try to recall yourself.. let's says in the last 6 months..what you been done? is there any memorable incident still in your mind now?
B: You trying to said meaningless life?
G: haha..not that la.. just do something meaningful. there is no point we stays up everyday in hyper mood but in the end you got nothing. I know we always wanted our day being "completed" in full scheduled because don't feel the waste of time but this make us exhausted and gain nothing at last.
B: I'm glad to have you here talks to me. This is the 3rd time you sharing your thoughts. Many years ago the first time was in car, 2nd was at ss2 mamak and now HERE.
G: Is it? i had forgot.haha.. just be yourself la..don't judge yourself.
B: I will digest everything you told me..and really look into it again. If I still remains this i think you will never speak to me again.
G: Well, It's an inevitable condition..we never know how's things goes until many years later.sometimes getting back to square one isn't that bad idea.
B: Yes..exactly..simple maybe good after all.
G: Try not to stress yourself. you will know what to do naturally.
B: At least i need to thinks how things turn up be like this. maybe i should read my old blog.haha.. u know, i really forgot i do have a blog until you told me..
G: Yea. isn't a bad idea. you will find yourself there and at least..you may know since when things changed. Well..is late..2am now? i gonna charge you consultation fee.
B: haha..alright. discount price please..

* contents omitted. Parts of the conversations may have changed

Memorable quotes in A LOT LIKE LOVE

Graham Martin (a lot like love): Oliver, this is your life. You can't wait for it to just to get you up on your feet.

wow..am so tiring now. I've been spending 2 hours reading a friend's blog. Guess there is too much that i overlooked in the past. Your blog reminds me that we had actually been thru a lot of sweet and tough time. I like the tribute 'ice cream's stick' the ' farnee jelly ice cream' (don't who 'implemented' it.), craving for movie on Monday night but unable to get nice seat, the “sky captain and the world of tomorrow” i still not yet watch anyway.. 3 movies in 4 days..many many good movies we watched together ladder 49, wicker park, the jacket, and my favorite A lot like love.

Your blog are just too good for me..part of my diary i could says.. there is so many activities which i used to have really good memories. i like we always went to movie without plan (we watched almost every movies) or midnight. I remembered how fun we used to be together with Janice and Derrick in PD. We having a Q&A games and she asked you what is her mandarin name..hahahah.. i really enjoyed it.. We used to spent hours chatting in MSN and I always asked you on your MSN bejeweled for me just because i'm too boring working. You drive me work when you having your semester off..2 hours in jam..am really sorry for you! hehe..Yeah, you broke your leg!! walking up to 5th floor still ok for me..no doubts, i did rest and continue my walking! forgive me am just not stamina enough! you know it when you first know me..keke.

My apologize to you. I didn't know you are upset until i read in details today. I felt myself so bad that not caring enough when you are going through your hard time. I can understand how contradicting you used to be when looking at someone that you actually love so much..but you not acting yourself. Well, glad that your happy now at least there is changes between you and him. really happy for ya~



**** still many to go...to be continue~